Master Fear

For some of us, there is an attraction that is stronger than our fear.  We want to be in the corral with the horses.  Even thought they are large and scary, we need to go in with them.  Many people don't have this attraction, and won't understand us in this realm.  That's ok.  It has to be.  That's the way it is.

Our attraction to the horse allows us to step through our fear.  Many step through without any conscious awareness of having done so.  The attraction and the excitement pull us forward.  Fear may slow us down as we approach, but it doesn't stop us.

But lets stop for a moment and consider the fear.  There are two things, here, that are essential to me; the first is that the horse doesn't Cause the fear.  The second, that we bring the fear into the arena with us.  It is ours.  We own it.  It is within.

Many may dispute this.  That's ok.  so be it.  I offer no proof or argument of my position.  For me, it is Truth, and having been lucky enough, blessed enough, to have found it, I will simply state it as a foundational fact, and move on.

I struggled to find the right word to describe what we do with that fear once we have found it and learned its nature.  (or at least its origin).  I chose the word "master", but I did so tongue in cheek.  There is no mastery of either the horse or the fear.  That is not what goes on.

Neither is it "control".  There is no control.  Only the Illusion of Control.

So, you don't master your fear, or control it.  You don't ignore it, and you don't wrongly ascribe it to the horse.

I have an exercise that I use to deal with my fear before I go on to deal with my horse.  I use the three breaths.  I stop, close my eyes, and take three deep breaths.  I trust the horse not to kill me while I do this.

This is the barest beginning of relationship.  It sets the stage. My first and biggest job will be to deal with me.  If there is to be any "mastery", it is to be of mastery of the self.  Until and unless this is done, there is not "mastery" of the horse.

Trust.  As I proceed to gain the trust of my horse, I must first offer the horse my trust.  How can you ask the horse to trust you if you won't or can't offer the same in return.

For those of you that have sat upon the back of a horse, you will know that for the horse to carry you, they must first trust.  A predator on their back is reason for fear in the wild.  To overcome that fear is an accomplishment we can emmulate and wonder at.  We really should pause on occasion to marvel at what a big deal it is.  From this initial trust.....and